I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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