THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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