Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
