it wasn't lemon gatorade
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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