I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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