Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You are the jesus of drinking
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
