Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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