there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
