Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
