How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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