Me too!
Sober January is a disaster.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
