so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
