i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My pussy is not your playground.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize