capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
