she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
