My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
