I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
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