So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
