Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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