sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
