i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize