I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
