Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
