Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
