He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Life is so much better after having sex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
