sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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