Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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