how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
