i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
