We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
