i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
