Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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