we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I've blown a few things in my day
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
