Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
only you would photoshop your dick
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize