I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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