Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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