If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
