Kiss
Puke
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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