This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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