She announced her abortion via fbk
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
