Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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