Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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