forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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