I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize