I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
