Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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