he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
