If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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