Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
