Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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