I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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