They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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