Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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