I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
