All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
