Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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