nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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